(no subject)

[graculus]

And while I'm always a little self-conscious about writing sex scenes, since I know that what works for me won't necessarily work for everyone reading it, I came across this descriptive gem somewhere in my travels and felt I ought to share it with everyone on my friends list who writes:

"Their slippery cocks were like two river otters, sliding over and under one another, muscles flexing in play."

Yes, that's going on the list for the 2006 connotations panel. ;)

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

*shudders*

Just, no. It also strongly suggests that whoever wrote it has never seen a penis before.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

That or they're having emasculation fantasies, with the two severed sentient penises (penii?) cavorting... ;)

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Aaargh. Oh, the mental images this is conjuring up. Penises at play, splashing happily in the water, catching fish, snoozing in the sun...

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It'll be okay till they start grooming one another and/or producing baby penises... ;)

[ruric.livejournal.com]

*shudders*

The one that got me the other day? A reference to "cock fur".

Fur? FUR?!

Dude just WTF kind of alien has that author been hanging around with?

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Many of the descriptions of genitalia make me wonder, like louiselux, if these people have actually ever seen someone naked...

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

Eeek!

Gina

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Yep, that was pretty much my response as well. ;)

[cedara]

"Their slippery cocks were like two river otters, sliding over and under one another, muscles flexing in play."

Do they bite?

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I don't know if they can bite, but they can sure as hell spit. ;)

[cedara]

LOL.

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

Actually, I somehow somewhere feel that this is an insult to river otters everywhere...
And those cocks seem to have a life of their own which is really scary.
I don't know, I've never seen penises move that much. Ever.
They're basically just there and it's the actual man doing the moving. ;)

I'll use my Otter icon just because it's so damn fitting.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Yes, won't someone think of the otters? ;)

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

"Their slippery cocks were like two river otters, sliding over and under one another, muscles flexing in play."

*giggles* Damn, we *so* need an icon of the otter penises!

[snapetoy.livejournal.com]

Sadly, no otter penises. Google has let me down. I never thought that would happen. Where are all the pics of otter penises, damn it?

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Honestly, how can the internet hold its head up high if a girl can't find pictures of otter penises with ease? ;)

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

O_o

o_O

O_O

*backs away slowly from the RiverOtter!cocks*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

They're alive!!!111!!!! ;)

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

And apparently covered in fur ;)

[snapetoy.livejournal.com]

dementordelta sent me over here, and I couldn't help myself.

Bad fic deserves bad icons!

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

*diesdiesdies* How much do I love this!

[xochiquetzl]

I think you broke my brain.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

You can blame that one on bad Queer as Folk fic, not me!

[chance1562.livejournal.com]

Oh God, the pain ::massages temples::

The aquarium will never be the same for me, never.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

My friends list, causing mental trauma one slasher at a time... ;)

[chance1562.livejournal.com]

Seriously, if my brain is permanently broken...

Well then I guess I wouldn't care about that image then, now would I? ::snicker::

[graculus.livejournal.com]

If? ;)

[blktauna.livejournal.com]

AHAHHAHAHAH!!!!
OMG I so have to come to connotations...