(no subject)

[graculus]

Someone on my friendslist was ranting about the word 'cum' the other day and I just read something else that needs to be considered with equal derision (imo) - the phrase 'anal pucker'. To be honest, is 'anal pucker' sexy or erotic in any way? I think not.

Comments

[blktauna.livejournal.com]

o.O

oh dear.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It's up there (down there?) with the likes of 'chocolate starfish' and 'hungry manpussy'... ;)

[alyse]

I always think that it's supposed to be one of those 'cute' insults for people who don't want to swear.

"Oh, you anal pucker!"

But maybe that's just me.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I agree that it would certainly make for good rhyming slang, but unfortunately in this case it was used as a descriptive term for a part of the body in a m/m sex scene...

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

To me, it's not in the least bit sexy or erotic.
I don't really see why one has to describe it at all. It's a hole, an asshole. We all know that. ;)
I prefer when writers don't describe it at all. ;)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It's kind of tricky to write sex scenes without any anatomical terms at all, so are you advocating fade-to-black? ;)

Personally, I'm still recovering from the trauma of people who have no idea how the human body is made up and think that by sticking their penis in someone else's anus they can shoot semen into their bowels. Not without some major medical problems having happened first, they can't...

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I just meant I don't want descriptions of the anus in particular. ;)

I'm all for graphic sex scenes unless they get too technical. ;)
I think I more want the hot n sweaty emotional sex scenes. The ones that describe the actual emotions rather.

[auctasinistra.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of euphemisms. Not these euphemisms, though. :)

[rivier.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I read about a 'hungry ass' in the last couple of days. Completely put me off my supper!

Then again, I'm the reader who never, under any circumstances, wants to read about spunk dripping down anyone's thighs after anal sex. Because here's the thing - if your arsehole is loose enough for that to happen, it isn't just semen that's going to be...

I know whereof I speak! No dripping *anythings*!

It's right up there with weeping cocks, in the pantheon of phrases that take the erotic out of 'erotic stories' and kick it to death.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

While there's reasonable evidence for the old trouser snake having a mind of its own, the idea of sentient arseholes (other than Dubya, that is) is somewhat scary... and no, I can't say I find the dripping bits all that sexy either, at least most of the time.

[xochiquetzl]

I was once at a multifannish slash gathering where someone (thermidor, in fact) had just read a story where someone had a "greedy asshole."

[xochiquetzl]

It's almost as puketastic as "puckering rosebud," "throbbing cock," and my favorite objects of hetfic derision, "pearl of her passion" and "sopping orchid."

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I know katemonkey's favourite from femslash (so I assume it would also apply to het) is 'molten core'... ;)

And that's without getting into the whole 'organic firehose' thing, over which we shall draw a veil.

[xochiquetzl]

Ah, yes. How could I forget "molten core"? LOL!

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

Guh, no puckering anything! I don't know why but I don't like that word.
Sopping orchid, never heard that one. :P

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Definitely an unsexy word 'pucker', I agree with you there...

[khek.livejournal.com]

Boy, I'm learning a lot from this discussion!

;P

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Don't believe those people who say it's just for porn - the internet is so educational! ;)

[khek.livejournal.com]

Yep, it sure is!

Are you going to MW next year?

[graculus.livejournal.com]

MW is definitely in my plans. :)

I'm tempted to run the same panel I co-modded at connotations but sadly I doubt that many of the usual MW crowd would appreciate it. ;)

As the original ranter...

[auctasinistra.livejournal.com]

...and in view of your icon, I think we can officially change "anal pucker" to "raisin rye" in any story we find it in. ;)

Re: As the original ranter...

[graculus.livejournal.com]

What we need is a whole set of replacement phrases for determinedly unsexy pseudo-erotica and that could make stories entertaining in a whole new manner! Though for 'cum', you'd need something that can be (badly) used as both noun and verb. ;)

Re: As the original ranter...

[auctasinistra.livejournal.com]

tapioca pudding? (In keeping with the raisin rye-as-anal pucker theme?)

Ick. I think I squicked myself a little in my mouth.

Re: As the original ranter...

[graculus.livejournal.com]

"I'm so horny I'm going to tapioca pudding all over you, Lupin!" Sirius Black declared... ;)

Re: As the original ranter...

[auctasinistra.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it doesn't quite work, does it? Maybe just tapioca?

(On a side note it does give new meaning to IK saying "I've never even heard of raisin rye." :)