Things I have learned from fanfic so far this week

[graculus]

1. Apparently, if you are Meant To Be Together, every time you have sex you will climax simultaneously. Every time in your multi-orgasmic encounters, which are unfettered by the reality of a little thing called the refractory period.

2. That the writer I was mocking at connotations last year has not given up her purple prose of doom and is indeed providing me with more raw material for this year's con (since apparently men have prostate glands but wizards have 'an organic pleasure button'). Not quite as florid as the previous example, but then that was something special in more ways than one...

3. That I can deal with TEEN CAPS OF ANGST if the story that provokes them is good enough.

4. That some people are clearly smoking the bad crack by what they put out in public (though I think I knew that already!).

5. That I find writing for other people (i.e. trying to figure out what they would like in these challenge thingys) much more anxiety-provoking than anything else. Including waiting for exam results and being interviewed for jobs. Bah.

6. That people think if they put quips in their author notes about how bad the story is, or how bad their writing is, that everyone will still rush to read what they've written anyway. And that usually they're right - it is bad.

So, what have you, oh wise friendslist people, learned this week? ;)

Comments

[cycnus39]

I have learned that there is such a thing as too much Ares and the RPGG game is beginning to bore me. :-(

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Maybe it's time to finish that Ed/Bud instead? ;)

[sg1scribe.livejournal.com]

I've learnt that if my left eye is really, really painful for no apparent reason, it is a good idea to not stick a contact lens into it. Sadly it required a week of agony and a friend's advice to arrive at this conclusion.

doh!

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Ouch. You know, I have a pathological dislike of the concept of sticking my fingers in my eyes for any reason and you've just reinforced it! ;)

[captain-tiv.livejournal.com]

1. Apparently, if you are Meant To Be Together, every time you have sex you will climax simultaneously. Every time in your multi-orgasmic encounters, which are unfettered by the reality of a little thing called the refractory period.

How about everyone on tv comes back from the store with french bread in one of their shopping bags?

When a couple finish making love, they wake up in the morning under a bedspread or comforter that is unusually unrumpled, the sheet on the woman is folded just above her breast and the the sheet on the guy is folded nicely at his waist.

When someone is fighting five bad guys, each bad guy will wait his turn to fight the good guy.

I didn't learn that this week, but it seems to be a theme. :)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

When a couple finish making love, they wake up in the morning under a bedspread or comforter that is unusually unrumpled, the sheet on the woman is folded just above her breast and the the sheet on the guy is folded nicely at his waist.

I never even manage to sleep that tidily on my own, so I don't know how they do it. Or is it magic sheets? ;)

[captain-tiv.livejournal.com]

Must be. :)

[manna]

When a couple finish making love, they wake up in the morning under a bedspread or comforter that is unusually unrumpled, the sheet on the woman is folded just above her breast and the the sheet on the guy is folded nicely at his waist

And then, when they finally finish gazing lovingly at one another and actually get out of bed, it turns out that they're both wearing underwear anyway.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Underwear as birth control? Or did they just forget what they were supposed to do? ;)

[khek.livejournal.com]

I learned (while checking out story archives) that even if characters are brothers, they will be slashed more often that not.

That's just...eww.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't get the attraction either. I mean, no matter how cute the guys are, if you're that desperate to slash them then you're probably a little too desperate. And if we were talking Numb3rs here rather than (as I suspect) Supernatural, it ignores the chemistry kicking off with other people the main characters aren't biologically related too...

[khek.livejournal.com]

You suspected correctly, I was actually talking about Supernatural. I've never really gotten interested enough to look into Numb3rs fanfic...but it doesn't surprise me that it exists there either.

I just don't get incest, whatever combination it happens to be. There was this one Mag7 fic that the author went out of her way to make the guys all brothers, then she slashed Chris and Ezra. It's just...why? It was fairly well written, but why *make* unrelated characters with lots of potential anyway brothers *then* make them have sex? It's just...odd.

[sg1jb]

I've learned that if I trash my right arm and my back, while washing a year's worth of dirt and caked pollen off my van, it puts a serious crimp in my ability to Write Daniel (and to do much of anything else, too).

I've also learned that my van actually *is* blue after all.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Yes, severe physical pain and writing do not go well together. And I remember when my car used to be blue... ;)

[blktauna.livejournal.com]

I've learned that I must come to connotations.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I thought you already knew that! :P

[thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com]

I've learned that people who insert things into stories that don't belong in that universe, irritate the hell out of me.

I.E. Atlantis is a PAPERLESS SOCIETY! I promise you Rodney is not hunting through the stacks of notes on his desk looking for a pencil!

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Ah, the joy of anachronism.

Though I did get to argue with my zine editor about whether my story set in the 1870's (roughly) could involve squeaking bedsprings and I was right! Though I admit it was more by luck and a pleasant discovery when I checked up on the history of mattresses. ;)

[thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com]

Well, if you're right then it's not an anachronism. ;)

And in the case of paper in Atlantis, it's not so much anachronistic - Atlantis is contemporary and so is paper - but there has *never* been paper shown on Atlantis outside of Sheppard's book. I think it's a matter of paying attention to the details of the show. Gr.

[siluria]

Today I learnt that no matter how bad a day you have at work, having good gratuitous slash fic to read once you get home can improve your mood drastically ;)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I learned that a long time ago. Good porn makes a lot of things much more tolerable in hindsight. :)

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

1. Apparently, if you are Meant To Be Together, every time you have sex you will climax simultaneously. Every time in your multi-orgasmic encounters, which are unfettered by the reality of a little thing called the refractory period.

Like the number of fics written about Daniel/Jack where they apparently both can have sex countless number of time during one night.
Except that Jack always has to give up after 10 times or so because he's not as young as he used to be.

Man, none of my ex bf's have been able to go more than twice, despite them being under 30...of course, I didn't give them a chance to do it more than twice since I don't think I could handle that much sex in one night...but that's waaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaay too much information than you need to know. ;)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Like the number of fics written about Daniel/Jack where they apparently both can have sex countless number of time during one night. Except that Jack always has to give up after 10 times or so because he's not as young as he used to be.

Man, I don't care how careful you are or how much lube you use, that's got to chafe. And it's not really a good idea if you're going to be running around a lot the next day, either, I would have thought?

As for the rest, you're right - TMI! :P

[gategrrl.livejournal.com]

TMI alert

Let's just say that after a marathon sex session with my then-boyfriend (we were in our early twenties) - I had a hard time walking, ROFL! And yes, we had to use copious amounts of slippery stuff...let's just say that "Last Tango in Paris" is NOT a good example of slippery stuff. Don't use it.

Yeah, these fictional endless nights of sex - my gosh - neither man would be able to WALK afterward, or touch their willies to pee for hours!

[aizjanika.livejournal.com]

I've learned that I can no longer communicate in English and since I don't understand any other language, I guess that I won't be communicating at all. *g*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Be like Jack, use sign language! ;)

[aizjanika.livejournal.com]

LOL Good idea. Both of my parents used to know sign language and I learned a little, but I think I've forgotten it all now. I'll have to make up my own. It should work as well as actually speaking or writing. *g*