One word says it all and that word is... 'meh'

[graculus]

I'm not one of life's motivated people. I am not, and never have been, perky. This probably doesn't come as much of a surprise to anyone on my friends list who's actually ever had any dealings with me. ;)

However, I'm currently even less motivated than usual. Perhaps it's an undiagnosed case of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or maybe I'm just bone idle. Who knows?

All I know is, I have more fic to finish than I care to think about (though this is hardly new) and would rather do just about anything than sit down and write. Problem is, some of the-fic-I'm-not-writing is promised to someone and as the days pass I'm feeling more and more guilty that the fic in question isn't getting done, and for no good reason, really. Likewise, I didn't even get *started* on a WWW fic this year, having at least managed to turn out two in the past two years and save myself the cost of a zine! ;)

I don't consider it writer's block as such, more like writer's torpor.

And then a minor identity crisis follows. What are you if you're a writer and don't write? Is it a permanent state, like being an alcoholic, no matter how long it is since you produced something?

Comments

[innocent-lex.livejournal.com]

"What are you if you're a writer and don't write? Is it a permanent state, like being an alcoholic, no matter how long it is since you produced something?"

Yes.

All this bollocks about how you're not a writer if you don't do it every day just winds me up. The only other things I do that I need to do again and again and couldn't do without are things like breathing, eating, sleeping, and such. No, I don't write every day. Yes, I want to write. But writing utter crap (which is what would come out if I wrote when I wasn't in the mood for it) would give me a massive complex.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I think I was more having a self-worth-in-fandom anxiety moment, personally. No-one will love me if I'm not producing something (not that anyone loves me then either... *pitiful sigh*), yadda yadda. Or some such.

[innocent-lex.livejournal.com]

Ah, so you already have a massive complex. Go, you!

I don't know what the official stages of fandom are (there must be some, right?), but I've moved past "contribute lots" and into "blessed with amazing friends I'd never have met otherwise". I write for myself these days, and haven't written as much as I'd like in a long time. But I'll get back into it soon. Really. I keep getting bunnies (both fic and original) at the oddest moments, which is always a good sign.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Every so often I like to sing the worm song... ;)

I have lots of ideas, that's never been an issue, just no interest at present in actualising any of them. It's a bugger.