Why, oh why, oh why...

[graculus]

Is it so hard to write a good sex scene? (I'm assuming for politeness sake that nobody is going to be posting 'but your sex scenes are crapola!' in response to this).

Have I been scarred for life by the connotations panel with the scary detachable penis, adding to my pre-existing trauma about the evils of purple prose on the one hand (organic firehose, anyone?) and clinical sex manual description on the other? Why is male genitalia so much more inherently amusing than female genitalia (thus rendering slash sex scenes twice as amusing already?)?

Perhaps I need to go back to writing gen... ;)

Comments

[gategrrl.livejournal.com]

It's best to write about the emotions involved, from what I hear.

(checks book on The Joy of Writing Sex)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I'm not normally one for graphic sex scenes anyway, but I have a purpose for this one so graphic(ish) it is... well, graphic for me, that is. Which is probably not very. ;)

[xochiquetzl]

It just is.

No, really. It just is. It's the least objective thing you can write about, IMHO. And most of the things people do when writing hard stuff--distancing themselves--just make things worse.

Detachable penis? *hums the King Missle song*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It was a Sentinel story, where Jim's penis just kept going deeper and deeper and deeper, producing wave upon wave upon wave of pleasure, etc etc etc ;)

[xochiquetzl]

Well, it could just be telescoping or something. Or maybe he's hung like Priapus, which would be unfortunate, as he'd be likely to pass out whenever he was aroused.

I just had another thought...

[xochiquetzl]

Jim woke up and groggily stumbled to the bathroom. He stood over the toilet, reached down, and...

Damn.

"Blair? Have you seen my penis?"

"Nngh?" Blair said. He reached under the pillow and said, "I wondered what that lump was!"

Gah! My brain!

[xochiquetzl]

Now I want to write a fic about detachable penises and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!

Back, plot bunny! Back!

Re: Gah! My brain!

[graculus.livejournal.com]

LOL. I would apologise, but for that I would have to be sorry. ;)

[blktauna.livejournal.com]

dangly bits are just inherently funny... not much more to say...

[graculus.livejournal.com]

The last chicken in the shop... ;)

Re: Gah! My brain!

[gategrrl.livejournal.com]

Oye, the times I've wished my sig other's bits were detachable ... for any or all reasons you could think of.

But, that's what the ultimate detached penis's are for, eh?