Not like the other girls...

[graculus]

I've admitted for many years that I am a geek and have no issues where that is concerned. Next week I've got a couple of days off work and admitted that it's time for my biennial shopping trip for clothes since my underwear is starting to fall to bits - in general, if I need a pair of trousers, for example, the fact that a couple of local supermarkets now sell clothes has been sufficient for me.

However, the statement I made at work that provoked the most disbelief was this one: I have never owned a handbag.

Peeps at work - "But where do you keep your stuff?"
Me - "I have a briefcase for work, otherwise I use a daysack or my pockets."
Peeps at work - *stunned silence*
Me - "Do you really need a handbag and a briefcase if you're working?"
Peeps at work - "Probably not, but still... never?"
Me - "Nope."

And then I told them I didn't really care for buying shoes either. ;) E.T.A. Last wore a skirt in 1991, don't own a skirt or a dress and haven't for a similar length of time.

Help me, oh friendslist - surely I am not alone in this lack of slavish devotion to the cult of handbags and shoes? I always knew I was not a 'girl', even when biologically I was young enough, but even so...

Comments

[emony.livejournal.com]

I hate buying shoes with an unholy passion. However, I must admit that it's mostly because I adore all those horribly impractical high-heeled monstrosities in virulent shades of purple and such, but can't wear them because my feet are designed for trainers, and trainers only, and even those get uncomfortable after a few hours. So my hatred is mostly fuelled by bitterness that I can't have the pretty shoes, and frustration that I can never find any footwear at all that is anything other than massively uncomfortable.

My "handbag" (I just call it a bag, but I suppose it fulfils the same function) looks like this (http://www.bagsetc.co.uk/index.asp?pid=3912943&pg=1&level1=HANDBAGS&level2=CANVAS+AND+CASUAL&level3=) only it's dark brown, and cost about £5. I don't have a briefcase, as my job is in no way important enough for any such accessory, so I have to have a bag to keep my keys, driving licence and lunch in. And plasters for my sore feet.

I buy most of my clothes from Sainsburys as well. They make very nice t-shirts, and their jeans fit me very well, unlike so many others. And they're pretty cheap, so it works out wonderfully.

I'm not sure this'll help your case any, though. I totally fail at being a girl. Examples - I've worn lipstick one time in my 27 years of life, and that was at someone else's insistence, I don't own a single dress or skirt, and I hate having to get my hair cut and have it done as infrequently as possible.

But I'm okay with it.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Well, when I say 'briefcase', what I mean is a black nylon laptop/messenger bag, rather than the Louis Vuitton hand-crafted virgin leather whatchamacallit. ;)

Also, I think a while back I also horrified some of the folks at work by telling them I hadn't worn a skirt since October 1991 and didn't own either a skirt or a dress of any description!

As far as shoes are concerned, I have wide feet and so probably wouldn't be able to wear the silly high heeled things anyway, even if I wanted to. Which I don't and never have.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Buying shoes for me when I was a toddler was, apparently, a nightmare - it was the only time I misbehaved in shops. I personally don't remember this, but I've never been a fan of shoe shopping. In fact I don't like shoes. I take them off in the house and my main priority when buying them if comfort.

I always used to carry a handbag (yes and a briefcase for work) because it suited me. And I had two of three of varying sizes/colours. Now I use one that I can put on my back - it's smart, leather, and great as I can't actually carry anything in my hands and loading down pockets isn't that easy either, and I can't have one over my shoulder easily as it slips down.

But slavish devotion? Nope. Never.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Well, for starters I have wide feet (EE if I recall correctly) so when I was younger my mother always insisted I had Clarks shoes. I think I must have just missed the stage of stupid heels etc. as I never wore them and never wanted to.

I've discovered my general attitude to clothes/shoes/bags/kitchen utensils/electrical goods is apparently 'use till falling apart then replace'.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Yes. My parents too insisted I had Clarks :-) I did wear heels for a bit, but never the really high ones.

Now that's a good attitude, actually.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It's taken a very long time to get over growing up without any money, to the point where I still look at the reduced price items in the supermarket even though I could comfortably afford full price. If I have to spend money, I will, but I've never been one to 'splurge' for no reason.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

I certainly grew up with far less money than a lot of my peers and remember my parents being careful and Mother always used to buy most clothes from the local market, etc.

I too need a reason to 'splurge'. But with certain household things the adage 'you get what you pay for' is often true. When my parents moved up to Scotland they replaced their cooker and very foolishly went for one that was really cheap - and have regretted it ever since. Now the grill doesn't work and it take minutes to light, so finally I've persuaded them to get a new one - on the basis it's something they use every day, more than once.

[rhade-rad.livejournal.com]

No you are not alone. My 'handbag' is a backpack so I can carry everything on two shoulders and not bugger my back and shoulders up any further - currently one from Blacks which easily takes A4 stuff; though I have a good smaller All Blacks one. But, like you, I live in trousers so wallet, keys and cash go in those pockets and travelcard, pens, diary, mobile into my coat pockets. I basically stopped wearing skirts when I left school.

I also have wide feet so prefer flat shoes - prefer walking shoes to trainers as they give more support.

I do have a few handbags and one or two dresses though - basically for shock value. Last time I wore one was November for J&B's wedding, but it is a really comfortable as well as stylish one. The ultimate is that I refuse to sacrifice comfort to fashion.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to remember that my friendslist may not be the most objective sample group for this kind of thing... ;)

[innocent-lex.livejournal.com]

I generally don't have pockets in my work clothes, nor anywhere near enough pockets in my other clothes to carry the things I carry in my handbag. Where would I put my UMPC? My work stuff gets carried in a work-supplied backpack (laptop, notes, papers, pens, etc) which I carry on my back where anyone can get at the stuff, so it has none of my personal items in it. Handbags need to be a certain size to hold what I want to hold, need to have a long strap so it can go over my should and across my chest to be safe, and be fairly cheap.

Shoes? Have to be comfortable. I have one pair of shoes I wear at work, and otherwise have hiking boots, trainers, flat boots and flip flops. I don't understand obsessions with shoes, handbags, clothes, hairstyles, all that stuff. I do understand having a keen interest in gadgets. Everyone's different, I guess.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

The relative lack of pockets in suits made for women is one of my bugbears. Fortunately I don't have to cart a laptop around, so my workbag is generally just diary, mobile, wallet, a couple of A4 notebooks, my mp3 player, a pencil case (in which lives a USB cable, pens, ibuprofen and lipsalve, for example) and that's pretty much it.

[thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com]

I don't have a purse/handbag either. I have a backpack for work. I have a banana bag that I carry if I'm going on the bus or running errands. I do *own* a black purse for those times I'm going out somewhere, but like you, I don't see the point of carrying multiple bags at one time. I have a wallet, a cell phone, an iPod and keys that I need to carry when I'm not slugging around work stuff. One bag is completely sufficient.

Shoes... well, I don't mind having a pair of shoes that go with what I'm wearing. Mind you, that's often a pair of Chucks in a given color, or hiking boots... I own a grand total of one pair of shoes that could be called heels.

[lachli.livejournal.com]

You don't need to be slavishly devoted to bags and shoes to use them. I always use a handbag because it's one place to keep important stuff that I used daily. I like it to look nice, but that doesn't mean I spend a fortune on it or change it on a daily basis to co ordinate with my outfit. I use a back pack if I were going out for the day and needed something practical, but I can't see the harm in a handbag that is practical and attractive. Same with shoes, I've got nice shoes that I wear if I need to dress up, however the majority of the time I live in wellies or trainers because of the animals and work.

I'm not overly girly, half the time I've got no make up and I'm wearing muddy clothes, but it's still nice to look good and feel good at least half of the time.

[the4ts.livejournal.com]

I have a handbag. Just the one (though soon to be two) as it's handier for travelling into town with in the tube and for just going out and about to the pub, restaurant r a quick trip to the shops. Keys, purse, inhaler etc. are too big to fit into my pockets.

Shoes, bah! I tend to wear boots whenever I can and hate shoe shopping. I have quite a few I've bought off the internet as going into shops I thoroughly detest! As long as they are comfortable and don't clash too horribly with what I'm wearing I don't care! I'm a size 2.5 so finding them in shops anyway is a bally nightmare and I end up usually having to get a size 3 (too big), which is part of the reason I plump for boots as it doesn't make such a big difference then. I have 4 pairs of boots (2 need repairing), a pair of walking boots and 5 or 6 pairs of shoes ranging from 15 years old (they still look fairly new so just goes to show how often I've worn them!) to 18 months old.

[cedara]

No dress, no skirt, no killer heels for me, no fancy girlish underwear either. I do have handbags, though, but they're the sensible kind (that means no underarm bags and you wear them with very long straps over your other shoulder - if that makes sense).

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

You are not alone. I gave up using handbags regularly about 20 years ago. I don't own a skirt. I only wear small heels (except on boots) at weddings.

I found I had to use handbags when my son was small to carry things that children need ---first it was a diaper bag (I hated the real ones so adapted a canvas handbag). Then, even when he was a little bigger, there was tissues, snacks, etc.

So I bought three very good sag-like leather bags that I use only on rare occasions (I bring them on vacation to theme parks).

My grip is that they don't build decent pockets into women's clothes, particularly jackets. I always long for that inside breast pocket to tuck in my credit-card size wallet.

But alternatively, I do like buying clothes and shoes. They just tend to be more tailored.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I've never understood the 'oh, let's go to town and wander around the shops for hours on end but not actually buy anything because we're there to see what's on sale' mentality. My buying is very structured and focussed, very 'I need this particular thing'.

[khek.livejournal.com]

I have to have a handbag, but mostly because I want something to carry all my junk in. That includes a book, glasses case, another book, sometimes my little laptop, my ipod, and the regular wallet, checkbook, ids and stuff. I have never carried a briefcase though. I do like to change it periodically, but I buy a new one at walmart or target.

As for shoes--I do like comfort. And I must have about six different pairs of black clogs; they go with everything. And I like flip-flops in different colors and levels of sparkliness. But I don't do heels or skirts, unless I'm forced to.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Well, when I say 'briefcase', it's more a messenger/laptop style soft bag than anything else. So maybe it's just a large handbag and I'm in denial? ;)

Though I tend to use it just for work, mainly so I don't forget to take my diary with me and things like that.

I've pretty much been living in a pair of Merrells walking shoes for the past 9 months, with an occasional foray into a pair of black boots for when I have to wear a suit, but I'm lucky in where I work for their tolerance of that sort of thing...

[obelix]

You already know that I love shoes and I have at least a dozen or more handbags and about 10 briefcases/bags for books etc. and yes I have and wear skirts and dresses (love skirts with boots and dresses are great in the summer). However most of my friends are not like me and are just like you so no worries you aren't alone.

I find it hilarious that I'm considered girly by the people I mostly hang out with but that I'm considered a tomboy by my family and society at large ;-)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

You're just hanging out with the wrong right crowd! :P

[obelix]

It's a good thing that I love shopping alone and don't particularly like shopping with other people since I have absolutely no girlfriends who like shopping!

The only time they want to go shopping for clothes is when they want to shop for themselves and then I get dragged along as fashion consultant. This means I spend the whole time picking out outfits for them and help them decide on what they should or, more often then not, what they shouldn't even contemplate ever buying or wearing ever again for fear of my going in their closet and burning it!

[graculus.livejournal.com]

They're probably equally afraid of you getting into their closet and arranging it in the colours of the spectrum... ;)

[leethet.livejournal.com]

If you looked in my closets you'd say a man lived here. All the clothes are large, plain (very few prints, and those there are are usually men's flannel shirts), half a dozen pair of large, flat-heeled shoes in brown and black, a couple of pairs of tennis shoes, colors predominantly black, brown, dark blue, grey. A lot of my clothes, especially shirts, and most of my casual/workout clothes are men's clothes (the sleeves are long enough, they're made better, they're less expensive).

I do own a purse or three (brown and black only) but I don't carry a briefcase for work and the wallet, keys, etc won't fit into my pockets (even though I too always wear pants and they usually have pockets).

Now it's true that if you dug down, there are a couple of pair of high heeled shoes, dresses, skirts and sparkly tops, but they're buried because I never wear them.

[leethet.livejournal.com]

The other part that's funny is the faint thread of ... defensiveness about the idea of carrying a "purse." It doesn't matter what you call it - a bag to hold your stuff in is a bag to hold your stuff in, whether you call it a purse and others cry "victim of the fashion gestapo" or you call it a bag/backpack/briefcase to avoid people daring to think you carry a "purse." It's a bag to hold stuff in, and there's nothing morally wrong with that - and I know you weren't suggesting so, Grac; I'm just kind of laughing because I'm reminded of when men started to carry totes/soft briefcases or whatever they call them now and they used to get mortally embarrassed that people called them purses. "They're not purses!" If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck ... :-)

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

The last time I remember getting excited about clothes shopping, I was six years old and had just convinced my mother to let me get a tuxedo instead of a new dress. These days, I really dislike clothes shopping and live for the day when better sizing standards lets me order everything online. My criteria for good shoes: will they hold up comfortably if I'm walking two miles (I have never worn heels, never plan to). A good bag? Fits my wallet, my water bottle, and a paperback book.

I am, I've been assured, hopeless.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Like I said above, I'm starting to realise my friendslist may not be the most objective of sample groups! :P

I've never understood the concept of going shopping just to see what's out there, because for me shopping = I need something in particular, usually because the previous something has worn out/is too small/has a hole in it, etc.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Hee - maybe not objective, but a good balance for the popular portrayal of all women as shoe-mad. I do enjoy certain types of leisure shopping if I'm not going somewhere noisy/hot/crowded. I can lose hours browsing a bookshop, and I do occasionally brave a sale if it means picking up some DVDs on the cheap.

I suppose it doesn't help on the clothing front that I'm a difficult fit. I'm a petite with a big bust and wide hips, and going clothes shopping is never as easy as seeing a style I like and buying it. Ditto on shoes, due to duck feet.

[nialla]

A bag is a bag is a bag. I don't need to carry a backpack, briefcase, etc., so I carry a handbag. But I'm very picky about them -- must have a shoulder length srap and several other criteria.

I do not buy the super cheap "fashion" bags but will spend a bit more on a classic, sturdy one that will last me a long time. My definition of "super cheap" is the $10-20ish ones at Wal-Mart and such, and the most I've ever spent is maybe $40ish.

If I'm going somewhere where a handbag might be annoying to carry around for a while (a con, museum, etc.), I switch over to a hip bag so I can go handsfree.

For shoes, it's all about the comfort. I've twisted my ankles and knees simply "tripping on air" so I don't need any help in that department. I have worn some pumps, but heels have to stay very low. I've also got size 10 wides, so those "cute shoes" wouldn't work for me even if I wanted them to.

I tend to go for updated Mary Jane type shoes for work, as they fit the best. There's even one brand that makes a shoe that's essentially a slip-on athletic shoe -- same type of fabric and it's washable -- yet it looks dressier. Stealth comfort. ;)

I think I may still have one dress in the spare closet. Somewhere. No idea if it still fits though. None of my jobs have required me to wear a dress, so I wear twill pants. I have a particular brand I like, and I just order them in a variety of colors online when I need them.

In fact, I order shirts, shoes and undies online as well. Too much work to find my size in stores, though sometimes I can find shirts that will work. Online ordering has been a godsend for me, as I'm not the "ideal size" in anything, and going to a shop requires a lot of time and no guarantee they'll have anything when I get there.

My two longest-term jobs weren't dress friendly. One could start the day in the office and before the end of the day I could be requested out at our campgrounds to bring out supplies, take stuff back to the office, clean the grounds, etc. Now I have to do a lot of shelving books on top and bottom shelves, so my range is a top shelf that sometimes needs the use of a stepstool, to sitting on the floor to shelve the kiddy books. Neither would work very well in a dress, nor would panty hose go over well in that environment.

[sg1jb]

Well, I have one small bag (to carry my money, credit cards, keys, and a comb), and I have one pair of shoes. Oh, and a pair of jogging shoes (trainers).

And that's it.

When they wear out, I reluctantly replace them.

[sazandra.livejournal.com]

I quite understand the not having a handbag thing. For years I kept my purse/wallet and all in a carrier bag tucked into my workbag - for several years I had two jobs, one morning in the NHS, one afternoon in the council, and in the council I didn't have a permanent office so carted stuff around in a shoulder bag. Even when I'd got just my previous council job I still had to move around from building to building during the working day so a handbag was so not practical. I can't remember at what point the carrier bag got replaced with something a little more durable like a plain handbag.

I still have a big shoulder bag/holdall - big enough I can get my monopod in there and my camera along with my handbag, sometimes it's bits of shopping, or when I need scarf and gloves to keep warm in the mornings there is room in there for the journey home.

Buying clothes and footwear in definitely a chore, buying only what I need most of the time and just about everything is practical and non-girly.

I know exactly the last time I wore a skirt - for my interview when I got my job with Adult Learning, so October 2000 - and it was a rarity then. I have no idea whether there is still a shirt hiding away in the back of a wardrobe or in the bottom of a drawer, I just live in jeans.

[xochiquetzl]

I have a handbag. Just one, and it's full of medication and computer tools.

I hate buying shoes, though. I wear either sneakers or birkenstocks every day.

[sg1scribe.livejournal.com]

Who needs a handbag when you can put a credit card in a pocket?

On the other hand - shoes... mmmmm... must-buy teh pretty shoes (with credit card from pocket) :-)

[superbadgirl]

No to the handbags, but I love shoes. They always fit.

[aizjanika.livejournal.com]

I hate buying shoes and any clothes, really. I don't wear dresses often. I do however, carry a handbag, which I call a pocketbook. Even though I was not a ladylike or girly person even as a teen, I've always liked to carry lots and lots of stuff with me. In high school, I wore a coat with giant pockets to fit in my cigarettes and pens and whatever else, but eventually I had a pocketbook. I always bought them for size and compartments, and didn't pay attention to geekiness.

I always liked to make sure I had room for a book and a hairbrush, pens, notebook, and so on. Nowadays I usually also carry some hand cream and cough drops and stuff like that. I still tend towards the cheap pocketbooks that are serviceable but not considered an accessory. If I could, I'd just carry a backpack, because I hate actually carrying a pocketbook around with me, but most backpacks are too large. For a while pocketbooks that were like mini backpacks were popular, but those are hard to find nowadays.

I hate buying shoes, but I actually wear only sneakers (athletic shoes). I had to have some regular shoes to wear with a skirt for an event last fall, so I actually found some new athletic shoes that were shaped sort of like reasonable skirt shoes (flats--I would never, ever, ever wear heals of any kind), and I was thrilled. I thought I might wear them again, but I never have. heh