(no subject)

[graculus]

After last week's anal pucker discussion, I was amused to discover that entertaining (or nauseating) euphemisms for sexual terms are not solely located within the worlds of fic and porn. Or at least that's what the people running the Bad Sex Awards would have you think.

Paul Theroux stands a good chance of taking the prize this year, with his description of an orgasm: "...not juice at all but a demon eel thrashing in his loins and swimming swiftly up his cock, one whole creature of live slime fighting the stiffness as it rose and bulged at the tip and darted into her mouth."

To see the other contenders, visit the report in the Guardian books section here. And yes, I do have a job that allows me to read significant chunks of the Guardian website, what's it to you? ;)

Oh, and in other news, according to Radio 1 this afternoon, the BBC have been onto Ebay about removing listings for dalek porn videos. You couldn't make this shit up! :P

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Oh, yuck. Live slime! Wow. I do hope he wasn't intending that little scene to be erotic. The bulging tip gives me a very weird mental image, sort of cartoony. *shudders*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I'm waiting for temaris and/or moonlettuce to make the inevitable Ghostbusters ecto-lube comparison. ;)

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Now, would I do a thing like that?

*blinks innocently*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

*coughs*

[temaris.livejournal.com]

I'm too busy going 'ewww'. That makes ectoplasm seem positively attractive. And believe me, I don't say that lightly *g*

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

Just when I think I can't write worth a darn, I read these, and feel better. I still can't write, but at least I'm not bad as all that. :D

[graculus.livejournal.com]

And these guys are 'professionals', so what's their excuse? ;)

[ruric.livejournal.com]

Bulging demon eels?

OMFG...I'm afraid this does not produce lust in my loins but rather a rapid bolt for the loo!

[superbadgirl]

*whimper*

I've never understood why people need to do this sort of thing in sex scenes. It's not erotic. It's nauseating. I suppose they're afraid people will get bored reading the same type of sex scene over and over?

[ankh-lj.livejournal.com]

"Paul Theroux stands a good chance of taking the prize this year, with his description of an orgasm"

Good. Grief. Sounds like something you'd actively avoid.

[temaris.livejournal.com]

I think that would put me off having any kind of contact with male genitals again, just in case they were all prone to having, what was it, demon eels made of slime slithering out their dicks.

*ew*

Does the woman in question turn lesbian afterwards? Or join a convent? She *deserves* a break.

[obelix]

Ewwwwww!

This should come with a warning or better yet this should be mandatory reading in sex ed class. It would be more effective than any other form of birth control *shudders*

And that was a professional?!?

[seanchaidh.livejournal.com]

You mean he's not describing tentacle hentai?