HBP - all spoilers behind the cut, honest!

[graculus]

My day so far:

7am - postie arrives with my copy of HBP. Go looking for torrents for Avalon and BSG premiere. Back to bed.

11am - get up, check livejournal, am amused by amount of squeeing about SG-1 already. Make coffee, watch download of Avalon. Enjoy immensely other than the moments of sheer blandness when the Destroyer of Episodes appears, which are far too frequent for my liking. Am looking forward to next week, and already not so much to when the D of E returns full-time.

12.30am - make lunch, start reading HBP.

3pm - check livejournal, make more coffee, go back to HBP.

5.15pm - finish HBP, brain still spinning.

So, that was interesting. I wonder if JKR decided it would be a good time to hit as many characters as possible with the heterosexuality stick in order to entertain herself? And I can only imagine the amount of entries Fandom Wank will be having over the next couple of weeks as the various enraged shipper elements whine or gloat, depending on their pairing of choice... I know it's mostly HP anyway but it's like JKR was trying to stir up as many people as possible.

My theory on the Snape thing? I know, I'm in serious denial, but I still don't believe he's OMGtehev0l!!11!!!!! Let's face it, the guy is a skilled Occlumens, as is Dumbledore, so both of them would have known that Dumbledore probably thought he was dying because of the potion he'd ingested (and nicely sadistic touch, JKR, making Harry the one to make him finish it off!). What exactly was Dumbledore asking Snape for when he said 'please'? If it was as straightforward as Harry currently believes, what missed angst potential!

Comments

[cara-chapel.livejournal.com]

*pets Snape on the head*

Good boy. <3

[graculus.livejournal.com]

:P

[cara-chapel.livejournal.com]

Seriously-- this is something writers can work with. Why'd he do it? What did he and Dumbles know and understand at the end? Who was he involved with? Why the vow to Narcissa? Even the people who believe Snape is a sappy sob-sister can, conceivably, pull the one out of the ashes. You could postulate theories that have him on either side.

Not least of which, we get to see a bit of Alan in the movie, whenever they get to it. This is a good thing no matter how you slice it.

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

I kept on snorting loudly each time another bit of fanon was crushed into tiny little pieces.

Finally, I had to go sit outside so that I'd quit bothering themongkey.

But it was WORTH IT!!!

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I was starting to wonder if JKR had a checklist:

Remus is gay
Harry loves Hermione
Snape invented Wolfsbane
Draco is a good guy really

And the list goes on... ;)

[xochiquetzl]

Oh, yes. I expect the howls of shipwars, and plan to keep my head down.

As for Snape, I'm in denial, too, but I still think it's ambiguous. I read the scene on the tower as, "You put me in this position, you bastard."

[xochiquetzl]

LOL, yeah, I was thinking that, too.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Particularly when he's then running off with Draco (in the platonic sense) and doesn't take the opportunity to kill or kidnap Harry, who is clearly no match for Snape since we now know much of what he's learned this year Snape invented.

Oh, and Lupin is apparently straight (or at least bi) - who knew? ;)

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

Snape is wealthy and has a manor
Snape is pureblood/royalty/god made manifest on earth
Hermione is a lesbi... Oh wait. That's still possible. YAY!

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

But what with Tonks being able to change the shape of her body at any given time, is he really all that straight?

*snicker*

[cara-chapel.livejournal.com]

I think he's ambiguous too. *waves the 'I still love Snape' flag*

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Depends on how good her control is, I guess - after all, if she's struggling with hair colour if she's depressed, then is she going to be able to keep her shape in the throes of passion?

"Oh, Sirius... oh, Sirius... oh, Tonks????" :P

[graculus.livejournal.com]

And apparently Ginny is not only not a lesbian, she's a bit of a slapper... ;)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

It would take much more than that to stop me loving Snape in a deep and meaningful way. In fact, I'm trying to think how JKR could accomplish that... ;)

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

They'll just have to practise. A lot. Several times a night even. Maybe use some technological assistance (http://www.take-it-like-a-man.com/).

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

She's young — she's experimenting!

Now that Harry's dumped her to run after Snape and Draco given up the chance for happiness in order to save her and her family, it's only a matter of time before she just gives up and starts shagging Hermione.

[katyabaturinsky.livejournal.com]

when the Destroyer of Episodes appears

Okay, because I am hopelessly out of the loop when it comes to SG-1 snarking, please identify same? (So that I may mock appropriately.)

[lexin.livejournal.com]

That was brilliant.

Snape Manor: dead, and I dance on its grave with hobnailed boots

[lexin.livejournal.com]

Same here. Really. The moment Albus swallowed that potion he was dead, and he knew it.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

AKA the 'National Treasure', owner of the Breasts of Doom, maker of cow-eyes at her boss, and are you getting the idea yet? ;)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Awww. But how else will he get to exercise droit de seigneur? ;)

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

Dude, cobblestones and tiny little terraced houses? What is this, a wizarding episode of Corrie?

[graculus.livejournal.com]

JKR seems to be leaning more in the direction of Ginny/Luna, unless you think Hermione just has a taste for Weasleys? ;)

[katyabaturinsky.livejournal.com]

Ah, I thought it would be Herself ::shudder::, but I was afraid I was missing some other hideous aspect of the show that should be mocked. Thank you for clarifying.

So not at all sorry that we'll be spared her for a while. Feh.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Well, I was hoping we might be spared her for at least a couple of episodes but apparently we could never be that fortunate...