graculus: (shhh)
[personal profile] graculus
Just inspired by my fear of re-reading older stuff, when I went back and re-read a story I'd written about 5 years ago and it wasn't anything like as bad as I worried it would be...

[Poll #512664]

Comments also welcome in greater length.

Date: 2005-06-14 09:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lexin.livejournal.com
When I write, it's often to get an idea 'out there' or, more usually, 'out of my head'. Once that's done, it's done.

Date: 2005-06-14 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
I know that feeling. By the time I've written and re-written and edited and re-edited I'm usually so sick of something that I don't want to look at it again now it's 'done'.

Date: 2005-06-15 10:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nakeisha.livejournal.com
Me too! I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in this. By the time I send my story to an editor and then done her edits on it, like you I'm sick of the story, hence the break between reading it again. I think that most writers are like that.

Date: 2005-06-14 09:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinymarigold.livejournal.com
Sometimes I think I ought to go back and fix things, rewrite whatever it is to reflect what I know now, but somehow it never gets done. Chalk it up to laziness, or maybe I'm just building a monument to my ignorance. Either way, there's not much out there and I don't really think about it a lot.

Date: 2005-06-14 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
Sometimes I think I ought to go back and fix things, rewrite whatever it is to reflect what I know now, but somehow it never gets done.

And if you do that, where do you stop? Do you *ever* stop? Are you trapped in a perpetual re-write hell from which there is no escape ever? Eeep! :P

Date: 2005-06-15 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinymarigold.livejournal.com
Exactly--it is what it is at the time of writing. Doesn't mean you can't revisit the topic, but it will be a different story from the first one, and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with either story. It is possible to overanalyze things. 8-)

Date: 2005-06-14 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sg1scribe.livejournal.com
I ticked the 'Occasionally when I have nothing better to do' box, but actually it should be 'occasionally when I'm really not happy with the original version'. There's a couple of early fics of mine that I keep meaning to go back to because I've learnt stuff since I wrote them (such as what POV stands for ;-) ), plus there's some stuff I've taken off the web that I wasn't happy with and will one day find time to fix and put back onto the web.

Mostly, though, and particularly with the light fluffy pieces, once it's up, that's it. Althought I have to confess I sometimes go and read things because someone will make a comment about something that I can't remember having written. Getting old and senile ;-)

Date: 2005-06-14 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
I ticked the 'Occasionally when I have nothing better to do' box, but actually it should be 'occasionally when I'm really not happy with the original version'.

To which my response to said fic would probably be 'die in a corner, you fiends!' rather than re-writing them. But that's just me... ;)

Date: 2005-06-14 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cara-chapel.livejournal.com
My very favorite kind of feedback ever is the "I was reading your story and I found a typo, so fix it already, bitch!" sort of feedback. Usually when I get it I go find the typo to reaffirm how much I suck and then ignore both the letter and the typo. I figure I've got to convince people I'm not a god somehow, and that's as good a way as any.

;-)

Seriously, though-- it does depress me when I've spent time and effort on a story and the only comment someone has is a complaint about editing.

Date: 2005-06-14 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
Seriously, though-- it does depress me when I've spent time and effort on a story and the only comment someone has is a complaint about editing.

Is that better or worse than the stunned silence? You know, the one where you post something and then watch the tumbleweed blow across the list as everyone looks at each other and wonders what to say? ;)

Date: 2005-06-14 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nakeisha.livejournal.com
Apart from my LJ stuff I only write for zines, so I'm not quite sure if what I have to say is fully valid for your poll. If not, please ignore my ramblings.

Until very recently I wasn't happy for any of my zine stories to go on-line. However, I have finally allowed three of my older Pros stories to go to the Circuit Archive. I did actually run these by my usual editor before they went up and although as I was going through them my fingers did itch a little to rewrite them, I forced myself not to on the grounds that 'why rewrite something I've already written'?

Yes, there were things I'd do differently if I were writing the stories today, but stories to me show the development of the writer, and I actually think it's quite interesting to see how a writer has changed, not always I have to say for the better, throughout her/his writing 'career'.

When I get a the trib copy of a zine in which my story appears I do quite often think 'oops, I should have said so and so,', but should I ever decide to put more of my stories online, I certainly won't change them before they go up, and once up I won't fiddle with them. I want to write new stories, not go back and rewrite what I've already written.

But I certainly do re-read my stuff, maybe that sound narcissistic, but after all if a writer doesn't read her/his own writing, how can she/he expect other people to? :-)

Also, I write the kind of stuff I like to read, which means whether it's established relationship (my favourite) or first time stories a good ninety-eight percent of the time the conflict will mainly, if not all, be external to the couple. Plus, in first time stories there's little agonising over 'should we/shouldn't we', etc. and once they've crossed that line, that's it, it's rare for me to then have them 'oh, but we shouldn't do this, it was a one off', kind of thing. Therefore, if I'm really in the mood for this kind of thing, and although these are my favourite kinds of stories, I don't only read them, I know that I can always fall back on my own stories.

What a long ramble to explain the short answer: yes, I re-read; no, I don't re-edit :-) Sorry!

Date: 2005-06-14 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
Until very recently I wasn't happy for any of my zine stories to go on-line. However, I have finally allowed three of my older Pros stories to go to the Circuit Archive.

So it sounds like you're kind of doing the same thing as me, just over a slightly longer time frame. Usually I put up my timed-out stuff without a whimper but this time round we were talking about a 3 year gap instead of a year and I would hope that I've improved as a writer over that period, hence the trauma. ;)

But I certainly do re-read my stuff, maybe that sound narcissistic, but after all if a writer doesn't read her/his own writing, how can she/he expect other people to? :-)

Well, I admit (as I've said in another post here) to always rushing to read my fic in a new zine first, and then I'll read stuff when I code it since I code my own site, and I might pick up the zine again later on since it's *there* and my fic is part of it. But I don't go out of my way to re-read my stuff when there's other stuff out there to be discovered... not because I think my stuff is so crap (because then why inflict it on other people?) but because I know how those work out and want to hear other people's stories. Does that make any sense?

Date: 2005-06-15 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nakeisha.livejournal.com
a 3 year gap instead of a year and I would hope that I've improved as a writer over that period, hence the trauma. ;)

I fully understand this. Most writers do improve as they go (as long as they care about their writing and want to improve), so yes, there is always trauma involved when people 'see' your earlier stuff :-) Mind you, that could happen just as easily in zines as with web stuff. People do buy older zines when they get into a fandom. Mind you, that's different in a way, isn't it? Because we don't have the option of changing the zine stories, so it's 'out of our hands', whereas going onto the web.....

But I don't go out of my way to re-read my stuff when there's other stuff out there to be discovered... not because I think my stuff is so crap (because then why inflict it on other people?) but because I know how those work out and want to hear other people's stories. Does that make any sense?

It makes perfect sense. I tend to re-read my own stuff when I want to know how things work out, when I want that 'safety' factor, for want of a better word. Or simply when I want 'my' kind of story and I can't instantly put my hand on someone else who'll give me that. It's not as though I re-read my stuff all the time. Like you I rush to read it when I get the new zine, but then it's usually some time before I re-read it.

Date: 2005-06-14 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karendreamer.livejournal.com
I think because I'm very new (only two fics so far) I'm still in the "OMG, I can't believe I actually wrote this" mode. As a result, I have read them over a couple of times just to be sure they really are mine.

Yea, yea....I know, dorky newbie fic writer.

Date: 2005-06-14 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
I think because I'm very new (only two fics so far) I'm still in the "OMG, I can't believe I actually wrote this" mode. As a result, I have read them over a couple of times just to be sure they really are mine.

I have to say, I always read my fics in zines first when I get the trib copy, and sometimes when I'm coding stuff or re-reading zines I'll come across something and stop, thinking 'wow, however did I come up with that?'. That's a nice feeling.

So, not that dorky, honest! And keep writing, so you can see how it feels... ;)

Date: 2005-06-14 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katyabaturinsky.livejournal.com
I've only got the two stories up, so it's not as if I'm speaking from a vast wealth of experience; but when the second story actually wound up getting recced in an LJ community (god only knows how -- probably pity), I did panick a bit and do a solid re-edit and partial rewrite. The first story is so completely appalling that I do want to go back to do a complete rewrite at some point; not really sure there's anything there worth saving, however. Perhaps I should just leave it there and re-label it as badfic. Hmm, that might work -- just tell everyone it's intentional crap!

Date: 2005-06-14 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
You need to write more and then you'll have much more to angst about, which will be amusing for the rest of us! :P

Date: 2005-06-14 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seanchaidh.livejournal.com
I've reread my stuff - particularly favourites - but I rarely edit/rewrite unless I really have to or have a purpose in mind.

Date: 2005-06-14 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
So, what's good about re-reading out of choice?

Date: 2005-06-15 01:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seanchaidh.livejournal.com
Sometimes I remember what I was feeling at the point - angst, or what have you, and it's one way of helping me remember where I was at that time and recapturing that emotional state.

Or I just need to remember that my writing doesn't suck. :)

Date: 2005-06-14 08:06 pm (UTC)
xochiquetzl: Claudia from Warehouse 13 (Default)
From: [personal profile] xochiquetzl
I try not to reread my old stuff. I have to sit on my hands to not edit it. And really, I think I shouldn't. First of all, it seems dishonest; if I rewrote one of my old fics, it wouldn't be the same story. It seems like revisionist history, or something. Second of all, well, I think I should tell this year's story, not spend all my time rewriting my old stories.

So I have to let it go.

Date: 2005-06-14 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graculus.livejournal.com
I try not to reread my old stuff. I have to sit on my hands to not edit it.

I think that would be my fear, that I would re-read the older stuff and go 'OMG I suck!!111!!!' and make myself re-write stuff that probably doesn't deserve my time being spent on it when I could be writing new stuff the production of which would please me more... or something.

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