(no subject)

Dear neighbour,

It may have slipped your mind that we live on what is quite a busy road and that you don't have a gate on your back garden, making it easy for your boxer dog to scamper all over the place where he's not supposed to be. It's no use you calling him at the back of the house when I'm putting the rubbish out at the front and I can see he's running up and down the road (which you clearly haven't got the brain capacity to figure out is a possibility). Your back garden is not that large that you could lose a boxer in it, even in the dark! I keep expecting to hear that squeal-of-brakes-thump sound any moment now...

P.S. WTF is up with your water pipes waking me up in the early hours of the morning?

No love,
Your crotchety neighbour