Parting is such sweet sorrow...

With a month to go till I start my new job, I returned from my travels to find an exit questionnaire waiting for me. And frankly, much as I expected from my employers (despite the proudly emblazoned 'Investors in People' logo now on everything since we ticked the right boxes and gave the appropriate back-handers), it's cursory at best. It's both sides of an A4 sheet of paper and that's it.

First question: what is your main reason for leaving? Out of a list of 20 boxes, you're asked to tick one. Because there could only ever be one answer, couldn't there? It couldn't possibly be that there are a wide variety of reasons which combined together make my workplace haemorrhage workers. No, it must be simple and there will be a tick-box.

Second question, and it's a corker: Do you feel that you have been treated fairly by your division? If 'no' please explain why not. This is inside a box approximately 3cm deep, running the width of the paper - a third of it is already taken up with the question.

While I will probably be filling it in, almost 7 years in post gives me a lot to say about what it's like to work for these people. As a result, I have little confidence that anything I include in that questionnaire will get further than someone's file in an office somewhere. So, I've emailed the head of Personnel today to request an exit interview. Why waste my time filling in stupid questionnaires for the monkey when I can speak with the organ grinder? ;)

I'll let people know if I actually get a response, though I'm not holding my breath...