graculus: (sarcasm)
One of my favourite pastimes is mocking books written by American writers ostensibly set in England, in particular crime and mystery series - you can discover all sorts of things about what people outside England think goes on over here, usually wrongly.

For example, I just picked up the first book of a series (published in 2005) with the following obvious errors:
  • Given that this is supposed to be England, what exactly are you doing talking about 'murder one'?
  • We don't have 'prosecuting attorneys', we have the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS)
  • What is this obsession with 'popovers' at meals? What the hell are they anyway and why are you serving them with steak & kidney pie? And just what is a 'stuffed potato'?

    Food is always a good place for all sorts of issues to creep in, as the obsession of the HP fandom with 'bangers' can testify. ;)
  • graculus: (sarcasm)
    There are times when my icon is accurate, rather than sarcastic, and this is one of them. Here we are midway through December (and exactly how did that happen?) and I've just finished my 4th week in my new job. \o/

    Which I am enjoying a lot, more even than I thought I would, so that's excellent news. In the last few weeks of working my notice from the previous job, I'd definitely had moments where I wondered if I knew what I was letting myself in for and whether this was a good idea. It definitely was. However, I'm not sure I ever really knew the meaning of the word 'busy' before, as some days now I can get to work, then look up from what I'm doing and 4 hours have passed and it's lunchtime.

    Likewise, I'm struggling with the whole concept of driving to and from work all week and still having petrol in the car. This is not something I have been used to. Not that, so far, I have turned the not-driving time into productive fic-writing time, but that's because I'm a putz.

    Speaking of driving, I keep seeing a sign on the way to work advertising Christmas cockerels and turkeys for sale - why would you buy someone a cockerel for Christmas unless you really disliked them?

    Also, I have finished my submission for this years' Down the Chimney over at [livejournal.com profile] muncle, only 24 hours late, so hopefully [livejournal.com profile] sithdragn will not be breaking out the pitchfork and firey torch for my benefit.
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    How to tell if it's summer in England:

    Lesson 1). Check for thunderstorms, torrential rain and flash flooding.

    Lesson 2). See Lesson 1).

    In other news, have been for a job interview today - think it went quite well, hopefully the fact one of the interviewers (the would-be boss of the post in question) started telling me all about what she'd like to happen with it was a good sign? Will know later on...
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    Is it just me, or does the new poster for the second Night at the Museum movie remind folks of the Village People? ;)

    The roadside ad version I've seen over here in the States is just the bottom half of the above, just the characters, and is even more so...
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    With apologies to Stephen Colbert for the subject line... ;)

    In general, other than my difficulties with replacing headlight bulbs, I really like my car. However, there is one thing about it that makes me grind my teeth with annoyance - when the temperature drops below a certain level, the temperature thing on the dash starts to flash, then there's a loud beep and the message 'Risk of Ice' appears.

    No shit, Sherlock.

    I can't be alone in thinking that designers are putting stupid features into things, surely? What possible assistance is a 'Risk of Ice' warning anyway? If you're already driving like an asshat, by the time it warns you then it's probably too late...
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    I live within walking distance of a small branch of the local library and despite my determination to only return the books I had from there and not check any out (mostly due to the teetering pile of books to be read already...) I was unable to resist picking up more.

    I was also unable to resist the urge to spend about 45 minutes reshelving the crime section since it was in a mess. Also paperbacks A and B, and then I got kicked out because it was closing time... does any library really need three copies of the exact same book by David Baldacci? ;)
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration but there are certain words which are guaranteed to raise my blood pressure. The first ones that leap to mind are as follows:

  • Ye
  • Olde
  • Shoppe
  • Fayre (particularly when applied to food, slightly less when applied to an event)

    Given that we Brits live in a country with real history, we really don't need cod-anachronistic signage to tell us whatever it's supposed to tell us... What would make anyone think that a pub sign advertising 'home-cooked fayre' is any better than anywhere else?
  • graculus: (sarcasm)
    You know, I vaguely remember this thing called 'summer' which involved sunshine and warm weather. ;)
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    Attention! There are morons on the internet!

    That is all. :P
    graculus: (smirk)
    'PLEASE DON'T PHONE WHILST DRIVING'

    Clearly, there's a fellow pedant working for the Highways Agency... ;)
    graculus: (It's all Cyc's fault)
    Paragraph breaks are your friend. Do you really think that slapping 800+ words in one solid paragraph is going to be conducive to people actually bothering to read what you've put? It made my eyes glaze over immediately, and I doubt I'm going to be alone in that!

    Also, if you're going to post and pretend that you know how to do lj-cuts, at least learn how and then go back and check whether they've actually worked or not...
    graculus: (It's all Cyc's fault)
    I shouldn't do it, really I shouldn't... *sigh* Every time I forget how riled up the 'Have Your Say' page on the BBC News website makes me, I go back and see someone spouting nonsense about stuff they have no clue about and it can't be good for my blood pressure!

    Today's delightful selection of idiotic comments by know-nothing blowhards is about all us public sector workers and our 'fat cat pensions' and how unfair it is for everyone else to be supporting us and our right to retire at 60 if we've put in the years while we go on strike and inconvenience them. Uh huh. Because we're not council tax and income tax payers like them and of course it's okay for other people to get treated better than us (police, teachers, civil servants, firemen, nurses) because people like them (well, apart from civil servants, who nobody seems to like - sorry [livejournal.com profile] lexin!), and yet more inanity along similar lines about how good we have it and how we should put up and shut up. Pffft.

    Meanwhile, off to take Lily to the vets as she's developed some nice bald patches at the top of her front legs. Hopefully it's just this skin infection she seems to come down with every few months and antibiotics will clear it right up, since she seems perky other than that. I figured out the other day that she must be about 8 now, which is good going for a ferret, since I've had her 4 years and the rescue place I got her from reckoned she was about 4 then (though understandably aging ferrets is not easy!).

    E.T.A. Checking up on google for the phone number of the vets surgery (so I don't have to look for it again when Lily has her follow-up), I'm entertained to see that the blog belonging to the very same 20-something vet we just saw is listed about 3 places below the official site. Am even more entertained to find said blog includes links to a mobile phone picture archive, including pictures of him drunk over New Year with his mates. That's what he gets for mentioning the firm by name, I guess... ;)
    graculus: (coffee)
    So, I drag myself to the other side of town to try and pick up my undelivered shredder from DHL's depot, only to discover that it's not there. It seems that the man-with-a-van subsidiary that also operates under their name is less than reliable - if stuff isn't delivered, it turns up at the depot 'eventually' (however long that is...) but apparently Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon isn't long enough.

    Then the person I was dealing with made the mistake of trying to palm off her work on me. I can forgive incompetence, but laziness really vexes me.

    DHL #1: so, you need to phone this number.
    Me: No, I think what you meant to say was that you're going to phone that number and find out where my package is.
    DHL #1: Oh.... [looks to DHL #2 for moral support]... We don't do that.
    Me: I think it's a good idea, considering I've already been inconvenienced.
    DHL #2: we need your phone number, so we can let you know what's going on.

    Apparently the confounding customers dark side is not strong in DHL #1, though writing down phone numbers in a surly manner is. I must remind myself never to whine about Royal Mail again.

    Meanwhile, over the weekend, I entertained myself by watching S.P.L, which is one of the more recent Hong Kong blockbusters. It's got Donnie Yen strutting about in it, which is always fine by me, while Sammo Hung delivers a tour de force performance as the villain. Bad things happen to 95% of the cast and the body count is as high as you expect from a Hong Kong movie. However, I couldn't help thinking about the way the characters all stood around in a couple of scenes, resembling nothing more than the actors from Blackadder the Third - legs apart, genitals thrust out (and in Donnie Yen's case, hands on hips).

    This theme was then continued when I followed that movie up with Royal Tramp, a Stephen Chow movie which is pretty much a set of penis jokes disguised as a storyline. Not that this is a bad thing. ;)
    graculus: (hero)
    Don't you just love accuracy in reporting? I've got to the point where I just grind my teeth rather than bang my head on the desk every time the 'longest running sci fi show' thing gets tied together with Stargate SG-1 (sorry guys, a little show called Dr Who kind of beats 10 seasons by quite a way, even if you ignore the movie and the recent reincarnation) and now we have 'OMG scandal caused by first new actor playing Monkey in 25 years! (except for those two Stephen Chow movies back in 1994, and maybe some others, which we're going to ignore so we can whip up controversy where there isn't one) Oh, and having seen some pics of Shingo Katori, I can't wait to see how cute he's going to look in the Monkey makeup. :)

    Thank you, [livejournal.com profile] blktauna for helping me to achieve even greater heights of pedantry than before. In recompense, I must go screencap the paper tuxedo scene. Right after I email the BBC. ;)

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