graculus: (smirk)
So, the job itself that I'm doing is massively enlivened by the presence of students in the library, some of whom are entertaining, others are clueless and a number are both.

My current favourite stories:

  • Student comes to me to say that the computer screen says 'check video cable' - when I go to see what's up, I discover that he's sat where the computer has been removed for repair, moved the sign on the keyboard that says so in order to try and log in but not noticed that there's actually no CPU under the desk.

  • Conversation with a bunch of students about the library being open 24/7 and my role in making sure they don't trash the place, to which one blurts out "I'm not gonna shit where I live!". Cue the rest of his group almost falling off their chairs with laughter.

  • Student wants to know where the overnight loan books are - they're shelved with everything else, though I know some libraries shelve them separately, so I'll forgive him for asking. But then why can't he find his book? Well, possibly because someone has used it for studying, which means it's on a collections trolley in the building after it's been left on a desk somewhere. He seems very disappointed I don't immediately know where his book is (with my psychic library powers, maybe?).

    Other than that, work continues to be enlivened generally by the ineptness of my immediate supervisor, particularly where rotas are concerned - I don't want to work Mondays because of my course but he doesn't seem to be able to get his head round this. I can swap, he said when I asked about this, and there are two weeks of the remaining term that I'm scheduled to work on a Monday night, except that he's structured the rota in a way that doesn't actually allow for that without either back-to-back overnight shifts (thanks, but no thanks - the hours I'm already doing are kicking my arse for doing anything else the rest of the time) or shifts worked much too close to each other (thus breaking UK labour laws).
  • graculus: (geek love)
    I should know better than to ever get on Youtube because I spend hours there when I do, and this is slightly due to [livejournal.com profile] georgiesmith and her pimping of Sherlock vids - unrelated, but definitely worth sharing! :)

    graculus: (sarcasm)
    Since the posties have been on strike this week and are also going on strike again next week (go to ACAS, for crying out loud!) I present to you a summary of the inane comments that have been making me grind my teeth this week where the strike action is concerned:

    1. But it's so inconvenient!

    That would be the point. A strike that didn't inconvenience anyone would be useless, as the idea is to make management think 'oh, this isn't good, let's think again...'

    2. What do they think they're doing, striking when the economy is in such a mess?

    They think they're exercising their democratic right to strike, in keeping with the laws around how strikes can be called in this country. Which are pretty clear, thanks very much.

    3. Sack them all and replace them with folks who are currently unemployed!!11!! (also seen in conjunction with 1.)

    Erm, no. That would be illegal. As long as the unions have gone along with the clear conditions about legal strikes, it's completely against the law for Royal Mail to sack union members for taking strike action in keeping with that law.

    4. They should be grateful to have a job at all!

    This one is always entertaining - it's usually prefaced by 'you public sector types with your high wages and your cushy conditions, the rest of us are paying our bosses for the right to work!' (echoes of the 4 Yorkshiremen). That always makes me wonder, if working for the public sector is such a well-paid easy ride, then why are you lot dumb enough to do something else?

    5. They should be made to work!!!11!! (thanks, [livejournal.com profile] temaris, I forgot that one!)

    Slavery was outlawed in 1833, thanks very much. And unlike nursing etc. you can't even use the emotional blackmail that being a postman is a vocation and therefore you shouldn't strike, you hard-hearted so and so! :P


    Have I missed any common inanities? Those seem to be the main three five (with sub-variations) knocking around... BTW, my understanding of the planned 'modernisation' RM management are looking for involves the concept that since they're 10% down in volume of stuff sent, they need 30% less staff to deal with the remainder.

    Two things

    Jul. 28th, 2009 07:22 pm
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    This morning really went from one extreme to another...

    Firstly, the lovely Buzz waits till I go outside to refill the weasel's foodbowl to find and then consume a slug that has crawled into their hutch. *shudders*

    Then, on the way to work, I see this bright (you've been Tango'ed) orange car heading towards me and realise it has a personalised numberplate, changed to say 'HI GIRLZ'. I'm sure the owner of said vehicle would be pleased to hear an office full of women talking about him this morning but not so chuffed with the consensus opinion about the likely teeny-tiny size of his penis. ;)
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    Just a quick update on the new job situation - it looks like all my paperwork has been done, including a quick trip to HQ yesterday to reassure them that my over-honesty in terms of filling in medical disclosure forms is not a problem, so I'm now waiting for the formal offer. Then it's three months and we're off!

    Yes, I have to give 3 months' notice in writing. Meh.

    In other news, I was getting my hair chopped off yesterday and, as usual, eavesdropping on other conversations going on in the salon, only to discover that the girl cutting hair next to me didn't know what The Ashes was. Seriously. Her customer was talking about being on holiday abroad and her husband spending all day in the pub because The Ashes was on and this chica didn't have a clue.

    For USians among us, the only comparable thing I could think of would be not knowing what the World Series or the Superbowl was. Given the recent success of England's men and women in cricket matches against Australia, I can only think the lass in question must have been living under a rock for at least the past couple of weeks, if not most of her life.
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    I'd been meaning to post about one of these for a while, but forgot until I passed the other two today on my travels:

    In a small village I sometimes went through, there used to be a shop called Dolls With Souls, which I always thought was a very macabre thing to call it...

    And then I saw a sign on a shop window today, which I thought didn't quite say what they meant - 'shoes, buy one get one free'. *thinks* Or maybe it did?

    Last, but by no means least, I passed a place advertising themselves as 'World Leaders in Custom Shot Peening'. All I could think about was e-peens, but I know that wasn't what they meant! :P
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    The current ad on the Tor blog website: Are you scared of women? ;)
    graculus: (geek love)
    After the World Championships a few weeks ago, I have to say that my interest in the Olympics has been somewhat focussed on the cycling to the detriment of the other events (except hockey, which I will always watch given half a chance, though I see the sticks rules have relaxed a little since my day!).

    After two medals so far on the road, we're now set for gold and silver in the women's 3000m pursuit - all that remains is sorting out who gets what! *snickers*

    In other Olympic news, well done to Rebecca Adlington for picking up her second gold in the pool, completely decimating the rest of the competition and breaking a world record that has been in place since she was a few months old. Almost distracted me from thoughts of Chris Hoy's thighs... ;)

    E.T.A.: Gold and bronze in the men's pursuit, gold and silver in the men's keirin! What was that comment from the French pre-Olympics that the Brits had peaked too soon and couldn't possibly replicate their success away from home? ;)
    graculus: (sarcasm)
    I get a load of spam, which mostly appears to consist of pr0n, ads for Viagra and the like, not to mention watches and the occasional relative of a dead dictator offering to share millions with me, but recently there's been a spate of fake headline stuff ('NFL star dies in bizarre car accident' and so on... I think there was one about the Pope being assassinated, for example). The one I got today, though, really takes the cake:

    'Paris Hilton infested with cockroaches.'

    I guess on second thought, they could be referring to the hotel... ;)
    graculus: (geek love)
    I'm really surprised that this link (not really work safe, for most people) hasn't appeared on my friendslist already... ;)

    E.T.A. - more of the same here and here (second link includes pics of the haka).
    graculus: (geek love)
    Well, how about a Who/Torchwood version of it? ;)

    Warning - contains spoilers for the last couple of eps!
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    Off on a training course today, and I cannot deny that the fact it was taking place just 4 miles from my house helped influence my decision to apply for it - for some reason, I seem to be extraordinarily fortunate in my external training applications, since every one I've applied for has been approved. I should also say, I am extremely underwhelmed by a self-proclaimed conference centre which runs out of cups for mid-morning coffee because too many people took their cups into the first session with them.

    But anyway, since I've been running training myself, I wonder if I've become hyper-critical when it comes to other people's training. I know when I started writing I became much more aware of various authorial tricks, not to mention cliches (don't get me started on 'he let out the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding...' and variations on that theme!), in professionally-published works in particular. Was it wrong of me to fill the teeny space for comments on the feedback form (itself a source of complaint for me) with a mini-lecture on how illegible Powerpoint slides can become when printed as handouts and then also printed on coloured paper? Probably, but I did it anyway. ;)

    *puts soapbox away for now*
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    'Turn your trouser mouse into a monster schlong!'

    Or it could just be me. YMMV. ;)
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    If anyone hears about Wentworth Miller (from Prison Break) disappearing suddenly, I can probably give an explanation, given the story I heard today from someone at work about her crazy cousin who is obsessed with him to the point of utter loonyness.

    Not only is N's cousin completely smitten with the man in question - can't see it myself, but there you go - she is convinced that he is communicating with her both via Facebook and also by phoning her in the middle of the night. On one occasion when he was supposed to have done this, N checked her cousin's phone and not only had Wentworth not called this 30-something Zimbabwean woman living in London (no surprises there), nobody had. N asked to speak with him next time he called only to be told "he's shy". Apparently the obsession all began when the cousin wrote off for a signed photograph and then became convinced that, because she got one back, she and Wentworth were meant to be...

    It's one of those stories which is both funny and sad at the same time. Clearly this woman is unwell, to say the least, but at the moment anyway it's not affecting her life directly - her family just tolerate her oddness and the people where she works apparently love her to bits. The worst thing about it is that she's been ripped off to the tune of £400 or so for 'an audition dvd' which she has apparently sent to the makers of Prison Break since Wentworth told her there was a part they were casting for the show for which she'd be perfect.

    I did suggest, however, that the family might want to look into getting hold of the cousin's passport somehow, in case she suddenly gets it into her head that Wentworth has asked her to run off and get married in Vegas or something.
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    It would be far too obvious for a bookworm like me to comment on the 'one in four UK adults say they haven't read a book in over a year' story, so I won't comment too much on this other than to say... not me, guv!

    What I do want to bring to everyone's attention today is this sterling example of democracy in action, as 600+ people petition the UK government about a certain kind of animal they believe should be allowed to be sold in petshops. Seriously. It's not often I find myself sympathising with civil servants (sorry, [livejournal.com profile] lexin) but I'm amused on behalf of the person who got the job of responding to this particular campaign.

    PSA

    Jan. 4th, 2008 06:13 pm
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    Although I've never been into romance novels, I derive great pleasure from reading this site, one of the few I have rss feeds running for because I don't want to miss anything... and that inevitably led to this today, which I swear is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Just keep any beverages away from the screen, okay?

    *headdesk*

    Jan. 1st, 2008 02:20 pm
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    The stupid, it burns!

    On a non-fannish forum: "Is the reason I can't do X due to [the overall admin] posting 2 days ago that she's going to tinker with something?"

    Me (seriously tempted): "No, it's because you're a moron."

    Also, if you're on a forum and have it set up that you can't receive private messages, please don't send me a private message asking questions and expect a response! *smites*
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    Perhaps I'm just easily amused but the following have provided me with entertainment this week:

  • A story where someone asks if they're perceived as a 'rank armature?'
  • Smut where one minute character A is fully dressed, the next minute he and character B (both male) are having penetrative sex with character A catching and character A never undressed at all!
  • Bad 'fan art' clearly drawn by someone who is both colour-blind and has never seen a human being of either sex naked (or indeed at all)
  • The ongoing saga of the Snape Wives
  • The equally ongoing saga of the 'missing canoeist' with my favourite bit being the woman who found a pic on Google and then flogged it to the Daily Mirror
  • The whole nasty 'Drymwyver' is mock-Celtic for 'crazy-ass' business - wank on my friendslist! In case anyone was thinking Harry Potter fandom had the monopoly on craziness...

    Anything I've missed, oh internet? ;)

    *sighs* I'm coming down with a cold and also waiting for the Post Office to redeliver stuff I missed during the week and haven't had a chance to go and get. Where is the postie? E.T.A. *smooches [livejournal.com profile] obelix* If only I had batteries in my digital camera so I could show my present to everyone...
  • graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    It's no wonder Royal Mail isn't making any money... remember my recent well-organised delivery? I just had another one, this time season 3 of Numb3rs. ;)

    I'd wondered whether last time around the postie just couldn't be bothered to carry the package back when there was nobody at home, but today's delivery (complete with identical red-type sticker proclaiming that I owe Royal Mail £12.18) was just shoved through as well without any attempt to see if someone was around.

    I'm planning to try and stay off the computer next week, when I get back from the con, and see if that affects my hands (which are a bit better than they were, though that's not difficult) and my bookcase is positively groaning with stuff that needs to be watched... :)
    graculus: (Charlie - WTF?)
    Dear Royal Mail,

    If you're going to try and dun someone for £12 customs charges for importing a Heroes season 1 boxset from the US, you may find you are more successful in doing so if you withold said package, rather than delivering it with a big sticker on it that says in red type 'this package will not be delivered until the charges are paid'.

    I see a flaw in your otherwise-cunning plan.

    No love,
    Me

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